Monday, November 29, 2004

Final pic... the view from the guest bedroom. You get to enjoy the pool, hot tub, gym, and the forest/park area. Come visit me!!! Posted by Hello

The guest bathroom... again, this is all yours when you come visit! Posted by Hello

My scrapbooking territory... I guess it's a little overwhelming, but it's nice to have a set place I can go to scrapbook. Posted by Hello

Guest bedroom... this could be YOUR room if you come to visit. Look at those beautiful Oregon trees outside!! Posted by Hello

My bathroom... hard to take a good pic of, and not very interesting anyway. Posted by Hello

My bedroom... I need to hang my curtains. For now just that ghetto black blanket (don't forget I sleep during the day people... we need to keep the light OUT!!!) Posted by Hello

View from my bedroom door. (Too many view pics "for perspective?") Posted by Hello

Other view of the dining room. Posted by Hello

The "infamous" dining room table!! This is the table with the only 2 chairs I have so far and without the leaf (which stores conveniently under the table). And the pool in the background! Posted by Hello

View looking out to the living room / dining room from the kitchen (not a great pic, just gives some perpsective.) Posted by Hello

What the kitchen really looks like. Posted by Hello

Zoomed-out view of the kitchen. Posted by Hello

Other angle of the living room. Posted by Hello

The living room. Posted by Hello

Pretty much the view when you first walk in my apartment. Posted by Hello

The final, totally done dinner pic. YAY for great Thanksgiving dinners! Posted by Hello

The pre-Thanksgiving dinner pic... weren't totally finished with everything yet. Posted by Hello

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Not too much to say...

So not too much going on... I slept until 4 (YIKES) today which was unnecessary but fun. I had set my alarm for 1 and I pretended I got up then but pressed snooze for 3 hours because I am a pile. I had stayed up late in the morning reading and so I just let myself sleep. Vin called about 2:30 AM and said ix-nay on the wine tasting because he was still out and had lots of work to do today. So I just enjoyed my day being a pile. When I got up I went to church and it was fabulous as always! When I got home I made myself some dinner... mac and cheese. I talked to my mom, my sister, and my aunt on the phone. My aunt told me all about houses and stuff. I didn't buy a house when I first moved here because things were up in the air with Doug and moving to LA. But now that I'm settled and everything I'm ready to buy a house, as soon as my silly lease expires. In August. So I have tons of time... but I'm ready to get acquainted in the market. So I've been looking at lots of houses and my aunt recommended that I go to open houses so I can start "dating" realtors but not one on one dates. (She's a realtor, I guess I forgot to mention that part). So I'm looking at houses... trying to decide between a townhouse and a single family home. And that's about it. I'm working on some random crafty type projects, scrapbooking, and getting my apartment set up just right. I got my tables and then had Thanksgiving all at once so it's kind of messy. I need to clean up and take pictures for all of you so you can see the fabulousness. I guess that's all I have to report. Maybe more later.

Post-Thanksgiving Wrapup

So Thanksgiving was awesome! My table is awesome... pictures for serious Monday or Tuesday, as soon as my apartment is spotless and ready to be photographed. :-) Dinner was great. My green bean casserole and his sausage stuffing were great (we both tried each others but really mostly enjoyed our own). And we had filet, chicken, and shrimp fondue, along with peppers, potatoes, broccoli, and onions. And 10 sauces! We had butter, sweet and sour, lemon butter, teryaki, dill, spicy, Asian, Frank's, garlic butter, and sour cream. Yuuuum. Seriously best Thanksgiving ever. I took pictures of the table so I'll put those up tomorrow if I have time. We're going wine tasting in the morning, yay. So after dinner we just chilled... I scrapbooked per usual and he worked on his website per usual. He stayed FOREVER... I was going nuts, I'm not even kidding. That's why I think I liked my relationship with Doug so much. I had space. I could see him for a while, and it was fun and great, but then I could leave for a month and breathe. Ugh. I can't stand being around someone all the time like that. Maybe I just have not found someone yet that I really like being around all the time.

Thursday night I had one of the scariest dreams I've had in a long time. I was at my apartment... only outside it was definitely my house in Palatine. Cause there was a front lawn and everything, only it was definitely my apartment inside. Weird. But this guy came and each night while I was in there sleeping would take something from my house/apartment and put it outside in the front lawn. The first night it was an old Tivo (not like the one I have) and he left it there. I thought nothing of it because I didn't know it was mine (although it was, but I don't own that in real life). The second day he got my attention though because my Tivo (the one I really have) was there with it. So I took them both and put them inside. Then the third day it was both Tivos and something else. It was freaky. And then I'd wake up in the middle of the night and start to hear him and wonder what he was taking, but I'd stay in my room and hope he wouldn't come in there. He never really stole, he just put stuff outside. And he never came in my room. It was just very psychologically scary!! Yiiiikes.

Then Friday I was crabby ALL DAY. Don't know what my problem was, but Vinnie had come over to hang out (we were going to cook leftovers) and I was like temper-tantrum girl to him the whole time. Ugh. So then I decided to go to bed (which was good 'cause I had to work that night) and I told him to just let me know when he was leaving so I could lock the door. Well, being the sweetest person in the world, he just stayed and worked on his computer the whole time I was sleeping so he didn't have to wake me up. Then he cooked dinner. So that was definitely way nice and undeserved.

Today I just slept all day, had a baked potato for dinner, cleaned my kitchen (it was SO GROSS), payed some bills, etc. Now I'm at work of course. And tomorrow morning as mentioned we're going wine tasting. Hopefully I'll get some sleep in in the morning before we go! :-)

Tis all for now. More soon. Especially more analysis of my "independence".

Thursday, November 25, 2004

What Nonsense...

Nonsense I tell you! Going a whole day with blogging, what is going on?!

So here's the scoop: I went to bed around 11 PM Tuesday night (Remicade always makes me tired, so it's understandable). I woke up around 7:30 AM Wednesday morning thinking "I should get up, it's been 8 hours and I have things to do, but I'll just sleep another hour or two". Woke up next at 3:00 PM. That's right folks, I slept 16 hours. That's enough sleep for TWO NIGHTS. How in the world does that happen? Oh well, I'll let it pass I suppose. :-) Just meant that instead of taking my afternoon nap in the afternoon I took it all morning and half the afternoon. I was definitely good to go for night shift tonight! So at 3:00 I got up, went to Furniture Depot to see Carl and my "fixed" table. It looked okay but still pretty shady... so I made a deal with him that I'd get this table now and he'd order me a new one. Apparently they're in stock now so I should have the new one fairly quickly. Also, he likes my table so much that he's going to start having it as a showroom model, so that's exciting! (I'd only seen it in the catalog beforehand) So anyway, I told him I needed it before 6:30 because that's when I leave for work. Then I went to the grocery store to get a few things for my green bean casserole, then went home to do some random stuff. Oh, I stopped by Starbucks on my way home for some coffee, and the guy was like "HEY, how are you?!" like we're best friends. Granted I've seen the guy a couple of times before but didn't know he was all about me. So now I must go back soon! About 6:10 the table guys still hadn't come so I called Carl and was like "WHAT'S THE DEAL?" The driver was "stuck in traffic" so luckily my darling Vinnie came over to wait for me. HUGE THANKS to him... I totally owe him. So he says my table is there and fine... I have no idea what it looks like in my apartment. He didn't seem all about it so hopefully it's actually okay. He hates light wood so perhaps that is part of the problem. We'll see. I'll report back tomorrow... and hopefully I'll post some pictures sometime in the next week (maybe on the Kelly weekend).

For Thanksgiving since the vineyards are actually closed (we were GOING to go wine tasting, but to no avail) we're going to have fondue instead! We're both making our favorite Thanksgiving dish (me the green bean casserole and him sausage stuffing) and then we're having steak, chicken, and veggie fondue with several sauces that I'm making. I'm SO SO SO excited. I can hardly wait... only 3 more hours of shift so that is AWESOME! :-) It's not like we need "side" dishes for the fondue, but we both have our Thanksgiving favorites so we're eating them. I seriously can hardly wait though. It's going to be the best Thanksgiving ever. I told my mom and she said she wished she could come to my Thanksgiving instead of hers. We had fondue one Thanksgiving and it was definitely my favorite so far, so we'll see if this one passes it. I'm going grocery shopping for all that we don't have this morning and Vin is bringing over wine and pie. So it should be fabulous. Like I said, I'm super excited. :-) Every time I think about it I get even more excited.

So have a lovely Thanksgiving everyone and I will report back hopefully sometime tomorrow night. :-)

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Table, teeth, and Remicade update

So the table guy called today and they "fixed" my table. One of the pieces of wood was broken (I saw it) so I have go to in tomorrow to see if it's "adequate". Funny, after 4 months of waiting I don't want an adequate table, which is why I waited 4 months... I want an AWESOME table. We shall see. I'll report back tomorrow.

My tooth appointment was good, got the sealants fixed up and I'm good to go.

Got some good scrapbooking done today... my pages are looking better because of all of my fun new Creative Memories tools!

The Remicade was good... for those who were wondering, Remicade is the medicine I take for my Crohn's. I get it every 8 weeks as an IV at the hospital. It takes about 2 hours and it's AMAZING. I had a really bad flare up and was in the hospital about 2 and a half years ago, and they pretty much tried every other drug they can try. They finally went to Remicade (the most extreme Crohn's medicine) and it did the trick! :-) I've been in remission for about 27 months on it, so hopefully that will continue. I'll post a whole thing explaining about my Crohn's some other time.

That's all for now... off to Bible study with my friend from work (he's letting me come to his since mine doesn't start back up until January!!!)


Oh how I miss thee Palatine. :-) I would love to be at Nellie's this Wednesday, joining the rest of the Palatine High School alumni drinkin' it up in that fine pre-Thanksgiving tradition. If only my parents hadn't moved to Iowa, if only I hadn't moved to Oregon, if only I ever went home for Thanksgiving! Yes, if only things were COMPLETELY different I might be able to be there.

So onto the table info... GRRRRRR!!! So they brought the tables, and my table was BROKEN. I kid you not, the dining room table I've waited for since AUGUST 6th was BROKEN when it arrived on NOVEMBER 22. Does that nearly 1/3 of a year strike anyone else? And they only brought 2 dining room chairs instead of 4, though I guess it doesn't really matter at this point. But I happily have my coffee table, 2 end tables, and 2 dining room chairs. I'm going to go talk to my good buddy Carl Wednesday to see what he can do to remedy this tragic situation! So much for eating Thanksgiving dinner at my house...

Today I watched ABC Extreme Home Makeover, scrapbooked, made zucchini bread, saw Bridget Jones, hung out with Kristie, and took about a 3 hour long nap. And that's about all the excitement in my life. Tomorrow I aspire to be more productive, but I have my sealant fixing at the dentist office and then my Remicade to look forward to. So I'm not so sure about productive other than taking care of my dental and health needs. :-) I'll keep you updated on how that goes. YAY for the return of people's blogs after what seemed to be a very long weekend!

Monday, November 22, 2004

The Table Saga

Sooo... the table guy (Carl) said we were getting close when I called him on October 29. He had my coffee table and end tables in, just waiting on the dining room table which is the one I really want. (if you haven't read the story before, the tables were all stuck on boats in the Port of Long Beach because it takes a long time to get through security. There were hundreds of boats stuck there, so mine just had to move to the front! So I was like YAY, this is good, they'll be coming soon. So lalala, time goes on, and I'm just waiting for him to call. Friday I get a LETTER in the MAIL saying "Kelly, been trying to call but I get a 'disconnect'. Your tables are in so give me a call so I can deliver them. Carl" WHAT?! He's had my number since August 6 and he's called me multiple times before. So I give him a call and he has had the tables for a few weeks! So if only I'd called him the week after Halloween I would have had them, but oh well. He also had my Chicago phone number with a Portland area code (don't know how or why he switched the area code in his records, but oh well). So they are being delivered today and I can't WAIT!! Then I can finally take and post some long awaited pictures of my apartment! :-) Expect that in the next week or so. Hopefully sooner rather than later!

And now I must go begin my rigorous daily schedule which begins with watching ABC Extreme Home Makeover, followed by making zucchini bread and scrapbooking, a short trip to the theatre with Kristie to see Bridget Jones Diary, and finished with me making dinner for Kristie and/or Vin to eat on my BRAND NEW TABLES!!!

Back home

So Vin and I went to see National Treasure while Addy was at Civil War (OSU won... go Beavs!). VERY good movie. Then we went to dinner at Ruby Tuesday which was AMAZING because I had not eaten all day because my tummy hurt in the morning. So then we went back to Addy's and chatted for a while but then Vin and I decided to just drive home that night because all we were really going to do is sleep there and then get up and drive home. Since Addy had to work in the morning, we thought it would be a lot easier on her in the morning not to have guests. Plus it was nice to sleep in our own beds! :-) We had a GREAT weekend though, so much fun and nice to get away!

This morning we made the trip to Costco... oh my. I always feel like I shouldn't join Costco, but sometimes I think I should just because there are *some* good things there. It's definitely a great place to buy meat, wine, and paper products. Other things are debateable. But it was fun anyway. Then I went home and got a LOT of work done around the house! Lots and lots so that was really great. Then I went to church... by far one of the best services I've been to in a long time. It was on "The State of the Church" so it was really good. I was happy. Then I went to Vinnie's house for dinner. SO GOOD. We decided to make chicken but we had to let it marinate, so we decided to go grocery shopping (for other stuff, just in general) while that was happening. We got lots of good groceries (seperately) and then he made YUMMY YUMMY teryaki chicken and a teryaki noodle side dish (actually I made that) and it was GREAT. We watched Shrek 2 while we ate and then had pecan pie that he bought at Costco. GREAT NIGHT. Seriously so much fun.

I had something so interesting that I was going to blog about that I thought the masses would find interesting, but now I can't remember. Maybe tomorrow...

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Visiting the Addy!

Sooooo Vinnie and I are visiting Addy. YAY for Addy! We left about 4ish yesterday and got here at 6:30 or so. Lots of fun Portland traffic. So we went out to eat Mexican food and it was SUPER FUN. We had margaritas, yum. Then we went to a Corvallis bar... good times. :-) After that was the really amusingness though. Just chilling at Addy's apartment... she and I cannot be in the same room for more than 5 minutes together without going into hysterical fits of laughter. It's so fun!

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Soo much blog fun

These are the five blogs I read on a regular basis, assuming they exist and have been updated:


Sooooooo fun. :-) They are all quite interesting. But the sad thing is that blogs have taken the place of actually interacting with people on a regular basis. It's like it went from in person to on the phone to AIM to away messages to blogs. Tears. BUT I think we have a ray of hope in the world through commenting and responding to other people's blogs on our own blogs. I love my comments and I TRY to comment on other people's blogs, though I'm not always the best at it. I'm working on it.

To respond to Jenni's comment: keep commenting, my life is crazy and I realize that. And I changed from pink because I thought it was too hard to read. If you really don't think it is, I can change back to pink I guess but I'm trying to do something for the greater good.

And to fill you all in on Craigslist boy, we talked for an hour and a half last night. It was one of those conversations that goes late into the night and you have so much to talk about and you don't ever want it to end. So that was excellent. I hope to meet him this weekend. I have so much to say about him but I'm trying NOT to analyze him in my head so if I start writing it in my blog that will first require doing it in my head so I'm just going to not do it all together! :-)

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The Vin Saga: Part Two

So Vinnie and I are back together.

Woah woah woah, before you FREAK OUT, let me explain why I'm not *quite* as fickle as it seems. Last night I stayed up all night thinking... I wasn't trying to, but I had to proofread Vin's paper, then I wrote Heather a GREAT long email (at least I thought it was great, it definitely made me think a lot), then I had a quiet time. But then I couldn't sleep for an hour or two after that, so I did a lot of thinking. I just didn't feel right about the whole breakup... I told Vin when we broke up that "this isn't the end of our story" and he said "maybe our story is to be best friends", but I didn't fully believe that. I realized last night that I want what I had always wanted... to be dating. I didn't want to act like we were married, I didn't want no space, I didn't even want to be so committed to dating only him. I wanted to explore the possibility of a relationship with him and see what happened. I planned it out perfectly in my perfect little head like I always do... and then came back down to earth and realized there's no way in the world that would happen.

So tonight he was like "what are we doing for dinner" because clearly we're incapable of eating alone. So we went to this fabulous little Thai place in Beaverton and had a wonderful meal there. As he said, the place had ambiance and would be a great place to take a date. We were flirting during dinner and have a generally good time. It wasn't at all meant to be a date but it sort of turned into a date, so on the way home I told him my little plan. He was like "what the heck are you talking about?" but once I explained it a few times, it made since to him. The only thing that's interesting is that there has to be the possibility of a future (read: marriage) sometime in the future in order for me to even ever-so-casually dating someone. So we talked about this, and he was like "yeah, it's probably not probable... but it never is... but anything is possible." He has this theory that your odds of actually marrying any one particular person are minute (which is true... think of how many relationships you've had, add one, and that becomes the denominator. The numerator is 1... and those are the BEST odds you have of getting married in your next relationship... clearly we're assuming you're single now). Okay we're math people... we're dorks. But anyway, as long as we've determined that the possibility is still there, I can so handle this and it's very much what I want.

Addy FREAKED OUT when I told her this and didn't seem too happy. I haven't had a chance to talk with her more tonight, since I went out with Kristie and Anna. I think she's freaking out because if the reason we broke up is really that important to us, it doesn't seem that logical that we would be dating. But it goes along with my whole really thinking about that whole Christian/non-Christian dating thing and how I still refuse to believe it's not possible. So as I continue to explore that I will continue to date Vinnie, though not exclusively, and see where it takes me. When and if I see a dead end, I will clearly define that with him and no longer pursue a relationship with him. I hope this makes some sense to you skeptics. :-)

As far as the non-exclusive piece... I've been talking to this guy from Craigslist (don't hate, don't hate) and I REALLY like him. I know, it's really easy to like a guy online. He's going to call me tonight, so we'll see what happens. He's a law student but I think we might get together this Friday or Sunday to have coffee or something. It's a small world too because a friend of mine from work went to high school with him! The work guy's sister even dated the Craigslist guy "back in the day". It's so weird. Buat anyway, so I'm going to try to get together with him.

I'll keep you posted on the ongoing saga, epic adventure... of Kelly's love life. :-) (and of COURSE of American History!!!!!!!!)

Quick shoutout and random "God" stuff and a note to all of you

So, even though I should be in bed, I wanted to give a quick shoutout to Laura, Randy, and Emily. I learned recently that they all read my blog and I love to hear that people are reading it! It definitely gives me an encouragement to keep writing, even when sometimes it's absolutely ridiculous. I really appreciate that you guys care about me enough to want to read about my life no matter what I'm writing and how insanely personal it is.

----------- This part is about God and optional but if you don't read it read again below the dashed lines. --------------

A few thoughts that made me smile last night and today:
I get a Bible verse sent to me every day, and it comes in the middle of the night. Last night after Vin went home I was like "God, I know you're going to make it an amazing verse tonight" and it was "He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us." 2 Corinthians 1:3, NLT. To me that was THE MOST COMFORTING thing in the world, and right when I needed it.

Then today I was thinking about this song that I always used to listen to when Julius made me sad, because it always made me smile. It's sort of an unpopular song and NEVER played on the radio (like literally I've never heard it on the radio). Later this afternoon I turned on the radio and after like 5 minutes THAT SONG came on. How awesome is that?

And that, ladies and gentleman, is why God has my whole heart. :-)


So I realize that God/Jesus/Christianity has been a big topic on this blog as of late, but I'm not trying to discourage any of you from reading it because of that. It's just ME and this happens to be my blog. I have a pretty personal relationship with God and so it doesn't end up on the blog much (especially because I know my readership is so diverse and I want to keep it that way!!!!!!!!). But it was an important part of my breakup with Vinnie and I wanted to share that with all of you. It's been a big topic in almost all of my conversations today so it was on my mind, and I wanted to share some stuff with my readers who are Christian. But I just want you to know that I am conscious of it and I should be going back to my regularily scheduled "non-partisan" blogging tomorrow. :-)

And one more thing... it really is SO nice not to be dating someone, because I can stay up as late as I want and I have time for myself. I so need time for myself... I love emailing and IMing and talking on the phone to all of you and already in the past few days I've had more time to do that!! :-) (Plus I have made more time to do it, which is what I SHOULD be doing!!!)

No real update tonight...

Nothing really new to report tonight. There's some interesting commentary going on in the comments section of "The Vin Saga" so feel free to check that out. Tonight I met Kristie and Vin for dinner, and then Kristie and I went to B&N, Starbucks, and a movie while Vin worked on a paper. Then I talked to Addy, proofread Vin's paper, sent an email to HMG, and had a quick quiet time. :-) More tomorrow perhaps.

Monday, November 15, 2004

The Vin Saga

Alright, so here's the low-down. (I'm actually typing this "tonight" instead of "tomorrow", but I may update or add some stuff tomorrow, because it's 2:30 in the morning and I don't want to say anything I'll regret). (Note from "tomorrow"... I haven't even read this over, but I'm going to post it and just trust myself that I wasn't too psycho last night).

Just as a warning, this will be somewhat personal and perhaps reflective, so if you don't want to hear the "drama" and my reflection, don't read this!

Anyway... kind of some history, which as Vin and I learned tonight, matters! First of all, I told him in the very beginning that we should have been friends... I thought the relationship would be better platonically. He liked me though, so he wooed me and I was like "eh, whatever, I like guys who like me, this will work". Never thought anything so intense would happen. Then a week or so later I was kind of like "hey, we need some space" and he said "if we enjoy spending so much time with each other, I don't understand why we can't spend each and every minute of the day with each other". Whatever, dude. I don't care, and I have plenty of time to myself while you're at work, so whatever floats your boat. I found out tonight that he finally realized that those things were true... we are better off as friends, and you can't rush into a relationship like that. He said "you're way smarter than I am, and you know yourself way better than I know myself". Yup. (and all of this is not saying anything negative about him, I heart the boy, but it's just interesting)

So last Wednesday we had that good talk, kind of aired our grievances, etc. Then Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, he BARELY talked to me. He didn't come visit me at work, didn't meet me for dinner before work, talked on the phone only a little, sent only one email which sounded like he was irritated, etc. I knew something was up, just didn't know exactly what and didn't really worry. Today I woke up at 3 PM (ugh, I like to wake up closer to NOON on my first day off!) and gave him a call. He was like "thank goodness you're up, I can finally go get lunch now!" So we went to Red Robin for lunch, had a lovely meal, discussed the weekend. He said he was crabby because Bush won (I kid you not he's been crabby since the election) and was just really irritated with Christians in general. Then we came back to my apartment while he did work. He did work and I journaled and talked online and just relaxed. One thing I journaled was "God, I don't really understand why things aren't really going as well with Vinnie as they were before, are you trying to teach me not to date non-Christians?" Just kind of a thought, eh, whatever. So then, and I don't know how this happened, Vinnie and I got into this big long conversation!!! We were talking about all sorts of stuff and he was talking about Bush, etc, etc. and basically how stupid Christians are and whatnot (for the record, I happen to have voted for Kerry... Russ don't kill me if you read that). But anyway, that's irrelevant... so he's all "I don't think you're stupid, but you haven't personally tried to pass a law because of your own moral values". He also said that someone told him long ago that he gets too committed... meaning he tries too hard to make a relationship work, even when he shouldn't be. So I said "maybe we should break up... you sound like you're just too scared to do it because you want it to work, but it sounds like deep down inside that's what you know you want". We talked some more, talked about going to Barnes and Noble and he was like "it's open 'til 11, we can still break up and get back together 4 more times before then!" It was one of those nights where you kind of know you SHOULD break up but you don't really want to so you go back and forth just discussing. He said "what if I said I do think we're better off just being friends, because we can be best friends because you being a Christian doesn't effect our friendship"? I don't know what I said, but that was kind of just the moment. I cried. I got over it. I'm too rational to cry about anything for long. I kind of have this pattern when I'm upset about something: cry, then talk logically for a few minutes, cry, then talk logically for a few minutes. Then I give the brain-dump to Julius, who is patient enough for me always to listen. Vin just kind of sat with me while I talked to Julius, which was sweet of him. Then we decided we were going to be best friends. He made me promise, which I almost didn't, and then I realize that I'm in a position that I CAN be best friends with him.

We've probably always made more sense as friends, but we were both (and probably me moreso) in a position where we're alone in a new state that we're going to live in indefinitely but don't know anyone in. And we're both people that want to "have someone" to be around all the time (even though I haven't in 3 years) so it was "convenient". There were so many convenience factors to the relationship for me. I like him yes, but as he says he's nothing that I ever wanted. Which is weird, because the relationship seemed to WORK so well, but obviously it just wasn't meant to be. It's hard to explain at this point, my head is still in overdrive analyzing. The last two relationships I've had ended because of a single reason. For Doug, it was the distance that was a deal-breaker for him. For Vinnie, it was me being a Christian. Interesting that they both call the relationships "perfect except for _____". Guys seem to have these things that are just deal breakers. I look for the big picture, and for me neither of those things was a deal breaker. I don't know.

So Vinnie was way nice, and stayed at my apartment until 12:30 AM, even though he has to work in the morning. We just talked, and I kind of explained a lot about the way I feel about God that I'd been sub-conciously filterting before. Now I didn't care how it made him feel, so I just told him. I cried maybe once more, but since he left I haven't cried. I don't cry when I'm alone, because I have the time to think and be rational. Around other people sometimes I just feel like this "pressure" or something so I cry because I don't know what else to do. I don't know, that doesn't make any sense. So I don't know when I'll see him next, but I'm sure in the next couple of days sometime. He said he'll call me tomorrow, and he obviously will.

Random musings from the evening:
- He was kind of funny when he was like "how would we raise kids? You'd want them to be Christians, I'd want them to be atheists, and neither of us would even CONSIDER the other possibility!"
- I always talk to Julius whenever I'm super emotional. And he always listens. He's detached, but he's so patient with me. I know he thinks I'm crazy for it, but he has no idea how much I appreciate it. He lets me just give him the brain dump of all of the "heat of the moment" insanity, and then I tend to get over it. Thanks Julius. :-)
- I was way more upset about breaking up with Vinnie than I was about Doug.
- He said he's not sure how I can be a girl because I’m so put together and rational (when he was leaving and he hugged me goodbye, and I just hugged him back).
- We both wanted it to work, and yet he decided it couldn't. I find that interesting.
- He explained to me that he was a Catholic who became agnostic who became athiest, but when he met me he wanted so badly to believe that he became agnostic again. The past 4 days he talked to lots of his friends who made him realize that he's really athiest. (great.) He also said that he is depending on his friends to teach him about himself.
- He realized that I know myself very well and I'm very secure with myself and know what I need. Like I need reflection time about relationships and stuff so I'm very careful to take it. He wasn't as deliberate about that time until the past 4 days, so he ended up getting himself hurt because he let himself get too attached before he realized I'm not what he wants. That made me feel really good about myself, knowing that I know myself well enough to know what I need, how I work, and how to take care of myself.
- You can't be in a successful relationship with someone else until you know yourself well enough, and the only way to get to know yourself that well is to take the time to yourself!
- I still don't know exactly what God is teaching me, but no doubt he will show me. I don't believe he's teaching me not to date non-Christians, but we will see. Vin thinks it actually is a good idea that I date only Christians, which is the first time I've ever heard someone who's not a Christian say that.

Added this morning:
Just kind of amusing, I took myself out to breakfast this morning after my dentist appointment (whenever I'm sad or break up with a boy, which are not necessarily the same thing, including in this case, I spoil myself... I go shopping and generally tend to let myself do things I wouldn't do, like get breakfast by myself). So anyway, I'm just finishing up breakfast and I go "sooooooo good, so worth breaking up with Vinnie for". I said that to myself (or maybe Jake) but it was so funny for some reason, I just started cracking up. Maybe it's not funny when I repeat it back, but I found it quite amusing. Okay I'm done now. :)

100 Things About Me

In honor of Jenni's VERY AWESOME post, I will post 100 Things About Me. It's copied almost exactly from hers (, I just revised each item to reflect me, or in cases where it REALLY didn't apply to me, I changed it completely. :-)

100 Things About Me
1. I am very anti-pets (this stems from being allergic to most animals)
2. I'm a Christian (and I will never forget all of the God-talk Jenni and I had during tennis sophomore year of high school)
3. I like martinis... my favorites are cosmos and apple, or any from Portland City Grill
4. I adore red wine, especially since I've moved to Portland.
5. I was a cheerleader in high school.
6. I've lived in Houston, Chicago, Iowa City, and Portland
7. I'm a fifth-generation Texan, my great-great-grandfather was even a judge in the REPUBLIC of Texas.
8. I like preppy clothes... Banana Republic and J Crew are my faves.
9. I'm a Republican, but a very liberal Republican.
10. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie.
11. Iwent to Florida for spring break every year from kindergarten to sophomore year of high school except two.
12. I love playing X Box, but I only have 3 games and they're all at least 3 years old.
13. I have learned, especially recently, that I know myself VERY VERY well, better than most.
14. I love camping... both real camping and the "go to an RV park" kind.
15. I love Chinese food, but I really think Thai is the new Chinese.
16. I met James Van Der Beek when I was 17.
17. I'm obsessed with reading the message boards at Not the wedding related (WR) stuff, but the NWR postings on the Planning and Ettiqutte (P&E) board. They're all about the acroymns on the knot.
18. I get irritated when people use bad grammar, and even more irritated when they spell grammar grammer.
19. My favorite movie is The Saint.
20. I really love TV shows on DVD, even though they're probably one of the more pointless things in life. I need to get the new Tivo that is $400 but lets you record all of your Tivoed shows on DVD.
21. I've been driven in a stretch Hummer limo to many places in Chicago.
22. I was on the park district swim team from 5 - 8th grade.
23. I was "supposed" to be a lawyer, everyone else in my family is.
24. I love how close my sister and I are becoming.
25. I really like living alone, but even more than that I like having the "right" roommate... Michelle, Dena, Addy... I've been lucky roommate wise. :-)
26. I have been to 49 states.
27. Breakfast food is one of my favorite types of food, especially at Walker Brothers in Chicago.
28. I worked at a store called Card and Party Outlet for 3 years in high school.
29. I love technology.
30. I don't believe in love at first sight.
31. Lately I much prefer buying stuff for my house than new clothes.
32. I want to run a half-marathon one day.
33. I've wanted to get my tounge pierced since freshman year of college.
34. I've been in and out of love... but it's debatable about how many times.
35. I have Crohn's Disease.
36. I was a big fan of the 90's Chicago Bulls. Fair weather fan, if you will.
37. I love SUVs.
38. I absolutely adore my apartment.
39. I thrive on being around other people.
40. I have never been skinny dipping.
41. I like Chris Tomlin way too much, but not for the reasons you'd think.
42. My mom is the person I'm closest to in my life.
43. I can't STAND Oregon drivers.
44. I was a big fan of Hello Kitty in 7th grade when it was popular.
45. I've owned 2 cars. ('Scort and Jake)
46. Greek IV was by far my favorite college activity.
47. I had a crush on Joey Larocca from 5th grade probably through the end of high school.
48. I've never done a "beer bong" or "keg stand", but that shouldn't surprise you.
49. I love my major - industrial engineering.
50. My second cousin is an identical twin who has a set of identical twins and a set of fraternal twins.
51. The number one place I'd like to visit is Thailand. (woah, Jenni, that is so weird... maybe we should go together!)
52. I was a lifeguard one summer, and hated it even though I had wanted to be a lifeguard for about 10 years.
53. I did the best in my class on almost all of the simulators in drivers ed, including the stick shift one.
54. I know nothing about wine, and only what Vinnie has taught me about beer, which is enough to get by.
55. I was in a sorority with 100 girls.
56. I'm actually really shy, although most people don't believe that.
57. I love bike riding.
58. I don't like shopping with other people.
59. I spend hours at the library and bookstores. I got in trouble for staying up late at night to read when I was younger.
60. My parents just celebrated their 25 year wedding anniversary.
61. When I start dating someone, I tend to fall very hard and fast.
62. My favorite TV show of all time is Friends.
63. I love brain teasers.
64. I might get my MBA one day.
65. I'm probably much too reflective of a person.
66. My favorite dessert is cake.
67. I played the flute for 8 years and took private lessons. Since college I've played only a few times, except when I was in orchestra at church last year. My flute actually is in Oregon with me though.
68. I love skiing.
69. I hate Arizona. (Don't hate, Hart)
70. I think any city smaller than Chicago is too small... so much for Portland
71. I have 20-15 vision or something like that, but I wear glasses with just prisms in them for when my eyes get tired (I have some weird muscle thing that I don't really understand)
72. I have never had a cavity.
73. Chipotle is my favorite fast-food.
74. I have never been overseas, but I've been to Mexico several times and 3 Canadian provinces.
75. I love waterparks and amusement parks.
76. I like going for random drives.
77. The three food establishments I miss most: Panera, Steak & Shake, and Noodles.
78. I've been climbing and repelling thanks to gym class in high school.
79. I call one set of grandparents Mimi and Gaggy and the other Mommom and Poppy.
80. I sleep in a queen size bed.
81. I have two ear piercings in my left ear and one in my right.
82. I love water sports, but don't get to do them enough.
83. I would rather have the internet than cable or a dishwasher.
84. I really love cooking, but it's no fun to cook for yourself.
85. My current favorite three shows are ABC Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, The OC, and 7th Heaven. WHAT? Seriously though, 7th Heaven is my new addiction. I don't even like TV that much but Tivo makes you watch more TV, and it's nice to chill for the hour or so I have between sleeping and work.
86. My favorite vacation of all time was to Yellowstone.
87. I really want to go on an Alaskan cruise.
88. I get my hair cut sporadically on a whim, never planned out ahead of time.
89. I love my birthday probably more than any holiday.
90. I would rather be cold than hot.
91. I'm very hardcore about God and what I like to call my "personal relationship with Jesus", but I can't stand the terms 'devout' or 'religion' (and even 'Christian' is questionable... too much negative connotation).
92. I've had my heart broken.
93. I started as a computer engineering major in college.
94. I tend to find happiness no matter what the circumstances, where I am, or who I'm with.
95. I was never grounded or given detention.
96. I have a good relationship with my parents and family.
97. I got waitlisted to Duke.
98. JetBlue is my favorite airline.
99. I loved my internship with UPS.
100. Vinnie and I broke up tonight. Way to sneak that in there, huh? But yes, I'm okay, blah blah blah... I'll be fine. It's a long story, and I'm sure I'll post it, or at least parts of it, tomorrow. It kind of came out of nowhere, neither of us expected it, but I'm not that surprised by it in a lot of ways. Again, I'll explain tomorrow.

For the record, this took about 40 minutes to do. But SO worth it. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed reading Jenni's and updating it for myself!

Friday, November 12, 2004

I'm not very consistent...

I just want to acknowledge that I do realize I'm not a very consistent blogger on the back half of the week. But I work, sleep, and eat. And that's it. That's my entire life from Wednesday night to Saturday or Sunday morning. And this week it happens to be Sunday morning.

Go Cats... we MUST beat Michigan this week.

Vinnie worked from home yesterday (Wednesday) so that was cool. We just kind of chilled in the morning (he was working, seriously) and then met a co-worker of his for lunch at Olive Garden. Then I took my nap (HAVE to take a nap, so that I can be ready for work Wednesday night) while Vinnie worked. Then we had the most productive talk of our entire relationship before I went to work, so that was stellar. He told me all the things he doesn't like about me. ;-)

Not too much else going on... no amazing thoughts, nothing stellar really happening. Sleepy... and it's only 2 AM. I have a feeling it's going to be a long morning.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

The Kelly Weekend

So yesterday Kristie and I went to see our friend Camille, who works at the makeup counter at Nordstrom. She wasn't there when we first got there, so we did some shopping... I bought some candles from the Gap and a shirt at J Crew. We also looked at the Coach store... SO CUTE. I used to be such not a fan but at least now I think they're cute. So then we went back to Nordstrom and this makeup artist named Jen did Kristie's makeup and Camille did mine. It was absolutely adorable. Then we went to Starbucks for some yummy yummy coffee (Peppermint Mochas are BACK!!) and then met Vinnie for dinner at a Mexican place. Then Kristie and I went to a Creative Memories (scrapbooking) party. So fun. :-) We were the only 2 there which made it a little awkward but I love scrapbooking! Then I came home and had a night to myself for the first time in a loooooong time. I did some scrapbooking and a lot of thinking and reflecting. I've been so used to having time to myself over the past 3 years. I wasn't dating anyone that whole time except for Doug, and he lived 2000 miles away the entire time we were dating (Portland/Chicago, Chicago/LA, Portland/LA). I became very comfortable with myself and the fact that I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I could go out, I could stay in, I could talk, I could sleep, I could work, etc. I didn't have to think about anyone else. Now there's someone else in my life that I have to care about and think about. I absolutely adore him, it's just something to get used to. It's not bad by any means, just different. I was able to do some thinking and it was cool last night. I'm just really independent and sometimes it's good to just be comfortable in that.

Today I had a meeting at work in the morning, and then Kristie and I caught our usual Tuesday afternoon movie. Today was The Incredibles -- very cute. :-) I have yet to see a movie with Vin! Then we went to Wherehouse Music (didn't find anything of interest) and then to a few scrapbooking stores. We got a few things like stickers and paper. Then we went back to my house and made tea and scrapbooked for the rest of the afternoon and early evening. Tonight was the night I've been waiting for forever -- dinner with lots of cool people! This guy Doug that I work with and his wife Sheila, Camille (the makeup woman) and her husband Chris (who works same job but different shift, different factory), Kristie, me, Vin, and another guy that works Chris's shift all went to Old Chicago together! Goooood times. Poor Vin was sitting over with all of the girls until Sheila was nice enough to trade seats with him. He claims he had a good time after that. It was definitely very girl talk / guy talk all night, but that was okay. One of the cutest things I've seen in a long time was Doug going "hello wife" to Sheila after the end of the night (cause they sat apart all night) and just putting his arm around her. I'm used to goofball Doug for work so that was cute to see. Vin said later when I commented about it that "guys have to do stuff like that, make the wives happy and just pay attention to them a little bit at the end of the night if they haven't all night"... and I was like "oh, I'm so going to be a bad wife... I don't need that kind of stuff". But please, who am I kidding? I SO do. I didn't think at the time I did... I wasn't just making that up, but I do. Sometimes I like to set myself apart, but I'm such a typical girl. Vinnie really understands the male/female dynamic VERY well, in a very realistic way. And I'm sorry if you guys get sick of hearing about him. I'm kind of gaga about him, moreso than I ever was about Doug (in that cutesy annoying sort of way, but I don't really know what to do about it... we're very couply, which is partialy, and maybe mostly, his influence).

Kristie thinks I should break up with Vinnie until after Christmas, which I think is a great idea. My past 4 relationships have all started within 4 months of Christmas. UGH! Why do I do that? Why can't I wait until January? I HATE buying Christmas presents for guys. Luckily Addy has a pretty cute idea of something for Vinnie, so hopefully that will work out. As Vin says, Valentine's Day falls right after January though so you don't want to start dating then... good point, except we all know how I feel about Valentine's Day. NOT A FAN. Maybe I can just ignore all holidays except my birthday which I happen to think should be a national holiday. I LOVE my birthday. February 19th for those of you who forgot -- don't forget. :-) I like birthday lovin'! ;-)

So that's my story and my deal of the night. Vinnie had me psycho-analyze myself which was quite interesting. I'm pretty good at it (he said I couldn't and that's why he uses his ex-girlfriend's to psycho-analyze me). I told him some very interesting stuff about me and the control I like to have in my life even when it's not good for me. And he was suuuuper tired, and when he's tired he doesn't think or talk straight, so he was babbling on and on about how he's not ready to get married. Um, OKAY!!!

And I'll just leave you with that for the night.... 'cause I don't think there's anything of interest to report other than that. I can't wait until my sister gets her internet back, I need to talk to her online late at night. And my dad had a great job interview today so I pray that that will work out for him...

Monday, November 08, 2004

AWESOME weekend!!

This was one of those weekends that just turns out totally awesome even when you're not expecting it!!!

Saturday Vinnie and I kind of got stuff done... he helped me put air in my tires and fix my computer and stuff. And then he went to get a haircut so I took a nap... and then we realized we were late to go to Harvey's downtown (a comedy club we were going to go to with some of his friends). So we kind of putzed around talking to Addy online (we were silly, sitting across from each other on the couch and talking online to the same person... dorks!!). But it was just one of those really good conversations. And we were in a chat room with her... but I know Add and Vin were talking to each other on the side too. They chat it up about me, no doubt. So then Vinnie and I were trying to decide where to go to dinner... and we talked about Chili's or Chevy's and then drove down to TV Highway to consider maybe a Mexican place down there or an Italian place that he likes... but then we were like "let's go downtown"... he wanted to go to this place called Pasta Bella that he'd been to when he was interning here about 3 years ago. So we went and had THE MOST ROMANTIC AMAZING EVENING EVER. Seriously. He asked me when the last time I had a romantic date was and I told him the first night I went out with him. But he asked about before that and I had nothing. Once I had a pretty nice evening with Julius, but it was after we had already broken up. And Dustin and I went out a few times and had decently nice evening, but it was nothing like this. It was just so so cute. I will spare you all of the details though... don't worry. And at the end we were talking to the owner of the restauraunt for like 15 minutes and she was like "well, you guys just make the cutest couple". So that was awesome. I was like glowing for the whole night. :-) :-)

Sunday we went hiking... it was supposed to be 9 - 3 but it was 9 - 5:30 and those extra two and a half hours make a difference!!! I was totally exhausted when we got home... ugh! And my stomach was bugging me on the way up (York I know you can relate on that one...) But it was AWESOME. We got to see Mt. Hood, Mt. Adams, Mt. Jefferson, Mt. St Helens, 3 Sisters, etc. So worth the hike up there!!! :-) Totally cool. Then Vinnie and I were STARVING so we went to Red Robin, yum. I always love the Red Robin. He picks out the best places. Then we went back to his house and worked on decorating it... he says it needs a female touch, and I'm all for that. Super fun.

Since we didn't get back until 5:30 I missed church so I was way sad about that... I don't remember the last time I didn't go to church... I was like traumatized. So I had the most amazing quiet time ever, which clearly isn't the SAME as church but it was super good! I like how different things allow us to be close to God in different ways. And even though I have my quiet time every day, somehow sometimes it's just extra special. I've had a few like that lately. I am really enjoying where I am in my life right now and who I am and who I'm becoming. I'm smiling more than I've smiled in a long time and I'm just enjoying the day. Each day, for exactly what it is (and we all know that I'm the worst about planning and looking ahead and analyzing the past... so it's fun not to be doing that... as much. :-) )

This morning I slept in super late and so I'm just chilling and putzing around all day. Not true... I have fun plans with Kristie for the day, but you'll have to wait until I blog them later on. :-)

Kelly and Vin on South Fork Mountain Posted by Hello

First of all, Vin would like to apologize that he doesn't know how to use his camera... he needs a point and shoot camera sometimes when he's being dumb. He's sorry for the noise in the picture and the darkness. He'll try harder next time. But to clarify, we are ON South Fork, but the mountain in the background is Mt. Hood. :-)

And yes I know I still owe all of you Halloween pictures. I need Vinnie to make me a CD. :-)

Thursday, November 04, 2004


p i d a t 42 0 (11:02:30 AM): In Portland, Ore., a city so staunchly liberal that it is sometimes called the People's Republic of Portland, the outcome of the presidential race was absorbed with the levity of a mass funeral.
p i d a t 42 0 (11:06:29 AM): is that like you?
p i d a t 42 0 (11:08:02 AM): Down the coast in Santa Monica, another place often referred to as a people's republic, the mood was no better. A man named Jerry Peace Activist Rubin sat in his stockings in his dark apartment, flummoxed and disoriented, taking condolence calls from well-wishers and rank-and-file left-wingers.
p i d a t 42 0 (11:08:22 AM): you used to travel often between these two cities
p i d a t 42 0 (11:08:52 AM): are you hiding in your dark apartment crying too?

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

More news on the home front...

Sooooooooo... I walked into my class this morning (I worked today instead of tonight because I had a training session alllll day long), and who is the first person I see? Addy's "friend" from Saturday night. OH MY, are you kidding me? And he is like "HEY!!!!" and talks to me like I'm his best friend, so I sit down with him and we chat it up all day. Addy, if you're reading, he really did actually feel bad about that night... he was like "I feel like we left on bad terms, I hope she doesn't hate me". So he's not as bad as we though. He definitely wants us to go salsa dancing which is fun! It was just rather amusing to talk in and see him first thing "Monday" morning.

Then tonight I went to a dinner party thing at my old bosses house, all of the women in my extended group at work were there, so that was awesome!!! I love hanging out with women, it's like my new favorite thing. As I get older I see much more of a different dynamic between women and men. I used to much prefer hanging out with men, now I see the advantages of hanging out with women and I absolutely adore it. Women will have the candles going and make you a cup of cider or offer you a glass of wine and watch Sex and the City with you. Men are great companions and confidants, but it's just different.

THEN... and this may be the best part of the day... I came home and saw two men (about 25ish?) walk into BatWOMAN'S house. Now, I've always just assumed that she was Batwoman because my mom said she once saw my next door neighbor and she was a woman. So now I don't know if there are two men and a woman or if they're her kids or husband or boyfriend(s?) or what to think. Maybe they're all roommates? They're definitely living in a two-bedroom apartment, whoever lives there. Maybe just the men live there. Or maybe they were just visiting. But they had a key I think. Anyway, WHACK. My mom and Vinnie joke now whenever I have to park far away that the Batmobile can take me to my parking spot. My mom has resorted to calling the far away parking lot "Batmobile territory". HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm so glad that I know Addy will be getting as much of a laugh out of this one as I am.

I don't really know if I have too much more gossip or rants and raves. I'm trying to get away from just listing out the events of my days, because we all know THAT'S no fun. So I'll report back soon when I have something of interest to say.

Oh, I know. Today was my parent's 25th wedding anniversary! So congratulations to them. :-) (and for the record, no, they don't read my blog!)

Monday, November 01, 2004


Soooo Addy had to leave yesterday which was so sad. But I went downtown to the camera store with Vin and then I went to church -- A-MAZ-ING. This band that I love, Scarlet Cord (Sunset's youth band) played and it was GREAT. They even played 3 Chris songs!!! What could be better in life? I was totally all jazzed.

Today I went to the dentist who told me I had beautiful teeth... yay! I have been to the same dentist my WHOLE life so I was a little nervous (and he wasn't even that good)... but she was amazing! So that made me happy. Then I dropped off our ballots and went to the gas station. Then Kristie and I went shopping... we hit about 12 stores in 2 or 3 hours and tried stuff on in at least 6 and bought stuff in at least 7. Vin thinks we're awesomely fast. After that we went to Starbucks and then Barnes and Noble, then I went home and showered. Later we met up with Vinnie for some dinner at this great little sports bar he found for us. YUUUUUM. Good food. Vin and Kristie played Keno, that was super funny. Now Vinnie and I are being dorks.

So I sent HMG, JJ, and Brownlee an email with this huge update on my life and JJ IMed me tonight and told me I inspired them to have a little pow-wow on Friday. So that made me super happy!! I only wish I could be there with them but I can't wait to hear every word of what they talked about. It will be great. I miss those girls and GIV and GIV exec and all of it so much. Tear.

Now a rant, because I know at least Jenni approves of them. WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH ARBITRARY DATES? Like people who tell their daughters they can't wear makeup until they're 13 or date until they're 16. Why? What is so special about that? What's with people who won't get engaged until X number of years, or people who don't want to have kids until they're X years old? I'm just so anti. YES, I agree that you have to wait for things in life. But I'm more laid back I guess... a go with the flow kind of girl (my exes might not agree with that..hehehe). But for real, you may know you want to marry someone after 6 weeks (my parents), 6 months, or 6 years. Why not just let it be. (This is not at ALL a rant about anyone, just something that seems to come up in conversation a lot lately). So I just think people should let things be. Not just about getting engaged, although that seems to be the hot topic, but just about life. Maybe more on the arbitraty date thing tomorrow

Word of the day: jerk-a-saur-ous-rex. Referring to Addy's Halloween party guy. :-)